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20121201
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Search Results 0 to 7 of about 8 (some duplicates have been removed)
will stop yapping about how he sponsored the u.s. speed skating team. big deal. we sponsored a team too. but since our show has a budget of zero dollars, we couldn't afford any american teams. so for the price of a cup of coffee, we found out you can sponsor the iranian ice dancing team. death to america. good night. [cheers and applause] >> from cod news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." [cheering and applause] [theme music playing] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. we have a good one for you tonight. newark mayor cory booker will be joining us, but let's begin tonight as i really should begin almost every night, with an apology. we've had a bit of fun here over the years concerning what is commonly referred to this time of year as the war on christmas where a small band of 70% of the country have fought tirelessly for the right to openly celebrate the feast day of their lord's birth, to have a mass on that day honoring their christ, a mass christ, if you will. [laughter] now, we have poked fun at this, saying such things as
, funny story, here's what we were up to just the day before. >> today the u.s. air force launched a top secret they call it unmanned spacecraft. kind of like a space drone. officials aren't saying much of anything about this thing, but the experts say it's likely testing out new equipment for spying. >> jon: yeah, guess what -- [whispers] not working. i'm not especially worried about north korea. we all know when the world ends, it will be an asteroid that does us in. on that score we're totally safe. >> close encounter of the asteroid kind. two asteroids buzzed earth, one of them passing inside the moon's orbit. nasa says the 120-foot wide rock came within about 140,000 miles of our planet. this is the scary part, no one knew this asteroid was coming until a couple days ago. kind of snuck up on us. >> jon: snuck up on us? [laughter] it's not a puma. it's a giant [bleeped] rock hurdling through space. can we not see anything coming our way? how is it we've got this massive spy satellite homeland security apparatus and apparently the only thing we've gathered reliable footage of is what
Search Results 0 to 7 of about 8 (some duplicates have been removed)